Hallelujah someone finally spoke up! The NBA talking heads discussed in their latest meeting cracking down on floppers. What I am wondering is what took so long? What was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back? Was it Hamilton falling to the ground against Keyon Dooling in round 2? Was it Kirilenko’s Oscar-worthy performance in the opening round against the Rockets? Or is it Manu Ginobli and all other descendants of soccer nations who adopt it as a way of life? Whatever it is, it is about time.

            Last night after the game, the ever so candid Rasheed Wallace earned himself a probable fine, ironically, through a profanity-laced tirade about the officiating and the flopping. Here’s how it went (Warning: This quote contains language not suitable for children…or Christians—no it’s not a Girl’s Gone Wild commercial)

“All that bull(bleep)-ass calls they had out there. With Mike [Callahan] and Kenny [Mauer] — you’ve all seen that (bleep),you saw them calls. The cats are flopping all over the floor and they’re calling that (bleep). That (bleep) ain’t basketball out there. It’s all (bleeping) entertainment. You all should know that (bleep). It’s all (bleeping) entertainment.”

For once ladies and gentlemen, I agree with ‘Sheed; he has just cause to be furious as have many throughout the life of the flop. Shaquille O’Neal had his epic “battles” with Vlade Divac in those classic Kings-Lakers series—come on, Vlade Divac? Divac was slow, out of shape, and a mediocre defender at best, yet he gave Shaq the most trouble; it is a preposterous notion. Divac, much like many others who are given too much credit as defenders nowadays, had no chance of guarding Shaq. All this time I have never understood why the issue was not addressed; after all even soccer which posseses the world’s greatest floppers, issues yellow cards to excessive acting jobs. My guess is that the NBA needed a competitive series in a period of time when the Lakers were trampling opponents. Think long and hard about those Kings teams compared to the Lakers, no competition—unless of course Shaq was in foul trouble or Kobe could not drive into the lane without sending Vlade Divac into the stands.

            Contrary to popular belief, the flop is not a novel concept; it is not a new age NBA practice. It was part of the Bad Boy Pistons’ repertoire. Bill Laimbeer and Dennis Rodman were floppers extraordinaire. Ironically enough, the practice helped them get over the hump against Bird’s Celtics and Magic’s Lakers in an era that both teams dominated. So what is my point here? Look, referee’s and officials from the NBA league offices meet before games, and especially during the playoffs. David Stern’s worst nightmare is a team rolling through the playoffs with little competition, it’s bad for ratings and generating interest. This rule will be great, and examples will be made, but what happens next year when the Lakers have Bynum back and have a full year playing together? What happens when they rip their way through the playoffs (hypothetically speaking)? I tell you, the next flop master will emerge and WILL go unpunished if it means making the series interesting; mark my words.

            Flopping has become a strategy, something woven into the fabric of the NBA culture. Love it or hate it, I doubt it is going anywhere. Some are so masterful at it that it will be impossible to distinguish between those truly being trampled and those who are simply selling the contact. In real time when a guy goes crashing into the ground complete with a painful grunt and facial anguish, how is a referee to know? The league will review it, but all that will happen is a new wave of controversy. If a mere fine is implemented, do you not think these men making millions of dollars will take the expense if it means changing the momentum or winning a big game? His teammates or even the owner (if it’s Mark Cuban) would probably offer to pay it. Please. Chad Johnson is the epitome of why fines are not effective, remember his “Please don’t fine me” sign?

            I most certainly am on the side of hating the art of flopping. At the same time however, I am hesitant to get excited about this. The tentative ideas for punishment just won’t be effective; there are kids right now at the middle school level of basketball who are emulating the art of the flop, perfecting it even. Personally I think the only effective way to handle it is by calling it a block—very simple. If the offensive guy is doing it, don’t call the foul, or have it qualify as a personal foul at the discretion of the referee. Fines won’t work, technicals are too dicey and make a mistaken call a bit more costly. Make it a foul, just like soccer, that’s it. So while I am glad the issue has been addressed I am hardly optimistic that flopping in the NBA will cease. Instead what I expect is for Vlade Divac and Dennis Rodman to go into business and open their own flopping academy to help untalented irregularly tall men continue to have roles in the NBA; the acting jobs will just have to get better, I doubt that will be a problem. By the way, NBA and Mr. Stern, if you are going to punish players for selling contact, what will you do about the refs that completely disregard obvious contact like the Fisher-Barry incident? How about you think of that in your next meeting.